Hate is fear + forgiveness is love // A deconstructed insight on how we face change

As a wellness collective, alternative perspectives can bring clarity + breakthroughs for many of our daily dilemmas. We are all the same at the root + came from the same o n e meaning we all need some guidance in remembering just how to interpret the waves of information delivered by the ego on a daily basis. We have Alyssa Hard, a young goddess who really gets the meaning of it all coming to the forefront with a raw description of just what fear could actually mean to us

For the longest time, I struggled with self-confidence and self-love, and I had a tendency to feel angry or jealous. It’s common to feel these things, but if left unchecked you might find yourself hating others, or even yourself.  There is a way to live without feeling hatred, and all it takes is practice.

 As an adult I am forgiving, open-minded and supportive, but s a child, I was jealous, and as a teenager I was judgmental. My friends and I would use phrases like, “I hate that place,” or “I hate her,” as if they were nothing. The truth is it isn’t healthy for our minds or bodies to emit that kind of negative energy. So, how do we stop hating all together? How do we stop hating that teacher who picks on kids for no reason? How do we stop hating the rain because it makes life harder? The key is realizing that hate is not an emotion, it is an opinion, and getting to the root of that opinion is how it can be altered. What is hate? I believe hate is simply fear.

After coming to this realization, I am able to look inward instead of lash when I feel upset. I started small, and I tried this approach on inanimate objects. For instance if I stubbed my toe, I would admit I was in pain instead of curse the wall. We can apply this thought process to most things we dislike, but let’s start with something all of us human beings need: food. I used to hate peanuts. I thought they were disgusting and whenever someone offered one to me I would react repulsed and decline. But did I really hate peanuts? No. It all stemmed from one night in my childhood when I ate too many peanuts and got sick. From that point on, peanuts were a no for me. The truth is, I hated peanuts because I was afraid they would make me sick. I feared the memory of that night and the churn in my stomach when I smelled them; this fear had created an aversion so strong that I felt emotionally opposed to peanuts. It might not seem like a big deal if someone hates a certain food, but this way of thinking can lead to unhealthy eating habits. Going even further, let’s switch out peanuts and insert places, people, or ideas; this way of thinking can affect our ability to love in a healthy way, it can cause phobias and jealousy, which will on your body and mind. There is a way to lessen the impact fear has on your life.

I started with my phobia of spiders. Honestly, a couple of years ago I would have been afraid to write the word, and I screamed whenever I saw them. I couldn’t watch certain movies because they had spider scenes (ex: Harry Potter, Charlotte's Web, She’s the Man).  It wasn’t until I moved into a fly infested apartment that I really started to appreciate spiders. After that, I started feeling like a jerk for hating them. I still cringed at times, but I can look at one, and most importantly I appreciate them more than I fear them. It works with people too. Love will flourish and jealousy will subside if we focus on appreciating others instead of fearing how they might hurt us or searching for aspects of their personality that make us uncomfortable. If someone is making us uncomfortable, it is our responsibility to ask ourselves why and answer honestly. Is it because they are different? Do they intimidate you? Do they pose a threat in any way? If the situation is unhealthy distance is the best solution, but when you let hate fester instead, it is harder to focus on moving forward.

 All of this might sound overwhelming if you hate one thing: change. And what is hate? Fear. It is natural for human beings to fear change, but we have the power to overcome that fear. So don’t let a fear of failure keep you from attempting new things. Don’t let one bad experience keep you from experiencing the good. Focus on being honest with yourself and focus on love + confidence. When we rid ourselves of these obstacles, the world will seem more like a beautiful and inviting opportunity. 

ELI KEATON